Shrouded in Mist

such sorrow

2012-02-04T08:39:00.000-08:00

天黑得像不会再天亮了

明不明天也无所谓了

就静静的看青春难依难舍

泪还是热的泪痕冷了

2012-01-24T04:05:00.000-08:00

成长时，可别丢了真心

價值

2012-01-18T19:46:00.001-08:00

自生的價值不應是他人的評價

无题

2012-01-01T12:16:00.000-08:00

孤独是一种巅峰，平淡也是

2011-11-01T10:43:00.000-07:00

有时人无非是小孩子，想找个人玩

Nightmares

2011-10-15T02:17:00.000-07:00

Everyone has nightmare, at the end of it, just make sure, you can snap out of it.

突然寂寞

2011-07-09T06:56:00.000-07:00

突然觉得很寂寞，回首时，不知是怎么度过的。

活了这一生，到了现在才猛然觉悟：自己是这么不珍惜周围的人。

或许因为那件不幸的事，潜意识就竖起了围墙，告诉自己不能太投入。因此坚强，强悍。

给我一次机会，软弱。

本份vs情份

2011-07-01T11:25:00.000-07:00

把事情都看成情份，人生会快乐些。

长大后，一定要有作为，不再靠人生活；靠山山倒，靠人人跑。每个人都应该有属于自己的生活。

拿人手软，我的手几乎瘫痪，但还是要硬着脸皮：这一系列是最后一次了。

唉。悲哀

vulnerability

2011-06-30T09:59:00.000-07:00

Through vulnerability comes strength.

Have you ever seen someone that is so strong headed and iron willed that you felt nothing can break him? I have.
Did you ever feel that someone is so positive such that no setbacks can ever make him depress? I did.

But what I believe, and found out is that all these strong headedness, iron wills are being set up in order to protect something fragile inside, something so delicate that it requires such defense. Once the defense is down, the person will break. Let me give you an example: A manager behaves in a very strict way, will tolerate no mistakes and will not hesitate to berate anyone who makes a small mistake. And of course this manager is very capable and had produced good results for the company. All the employees thought that he is an iron-man who will never fall. Deep down, maybe the manager is hiding his insecurity of always not being enough for something, fear of failure or even lack of interpersonal skills.

I always have this sadistic nature of wanting to see the other side of a person, but I can almost ascertain, it is not going to be pretty.

Therefore, being vulnerable, scared and afraid of something does not make you weak, or rather it makes you aware of your shortcomings. I believe everyone has their weak spot. Only when you know of your weakness, can you overcome it. Yes I know its not easy, but thats what friends, families and people we love are for, to help us get through it.

However, one cannot have too much weakness, or be too reliant on the help of others. It will discourage our mind to face the fear and we will seem to be feeding off the energy of the ones who care about us.

Why the sudden post?

I have always believe that as long as a person stay strong, have a positive outlook in life, there will be nothing daunting. I was wrong. There are bound to be weak spots that cannot be overcome alone, we are humans afterall.

Thus, from this I will tell myself that being vulnerable and weak at healthy dosage will actually make us a better person.

should I?

2011-06-14T12:10:00.000-07:00

Should I take up a 2nd major in Psychology? This is so killing me.

Breaking down this decision into the simple components would be interest vs pragmatism :/

Upon taking a 2nd major I would be more than sure that my results would not be able to maintain. But is the opportunity cost too great? The freakin society behaves like whores when it comes to how well you fare for your degree.

Some many questions running through my mind right now.

Is the course very content heavy? If it is I am quite screwed.
Is the course useful after I graduate?
Will I really like my course?
Will I be able to juggle btw 2 content heavy course?
Will my interest/passion brave me through the tumultuous sea of hardship (mugging)

If the society aint whores for good degrees, I would have just went ahead to take it. But sad enough the politically driven society is, (blah blah blah).

please give me a clue.

Education

2011-05-19T10:47:00.000-07:00

Now that all the stress for the mad studies competition has finally ended for the time being, I start to feel more alive. Seriously...more alive. How can education make you a better person if the process in going through all those shit requires you to sell your soul to the devil? Think about it, I must say that I am not incredibly smart, but I am not dumb either, to be more accurate, I would say that I am better than average amongst my cohort, considering that and the amount of effort I put into studies, we have come to a conclusion:

Education ruins us ALL.

Okie, let me be specific, singapore education ruins us all. Sure you can slap whatever newspaper of numerous people achieving great heights and sent to top universities like Harvard, Stanford and Cambridge, but think about it, why wont they stay in Singapore? Because its not good enough. Singapore's education is a pressure cooker, its either you are a material that happens to taste just average after high pressure cooking or you get charred and taste like a mess.

The older generation often says that the younger generations are so protected and pampered these days and they dont know anything about the society. True, I can vouch for that, but I bet when they are being put in the very same environment of the education system, I dont think they can fare just as well most of us do. Singapore's education is like a death reaper with angelic outlooks; they say its for your own good and force you to do things that you may or may not like all in the name of "job stability".

I am always passionate about learning new things and I try hard to incorporate that in my studies. However, the system is so wrecked that I can only start to feel my burning passion once all the exams/presentations are over. I would say the system is just like a smokescreen that blinded or rather choked my senses with overwhelming stress that I have no choice but to forgo interest and to concentrate intensely on studies itself. Now with 3 months of resting period, I can FINALLY sit down and read a BOOK that I LOVE without going through the mental torment of realising I didnt quite understand what I read just now. Sometimes, its not all about the knowing but the doing. I just want to read a book and learn what I can from it, and not be forced to gobble down the ENTIRE content and replicate it in x number of minutes. Education is more than that, we all know it.

A child may not be good in math, science, chinese or english but that doesnt mean that hes dumb. Our education system defines our younger generation so intently that it not only polarizes the academically strong ones and weaker ones but also those that had true passion for something else rather than academic stuff. In comes the CCA talk. blah blah blah. yadar yadar yadar. Co-curricular activities. The name itself irks me. Cause it can only do it as something to supplement your academic achievements.

I would say I was once a lost student in education, I didnt know what was really expected of me except for just scoring straight ace. It should be a need of oneself to fulfill that and not a want due to social and external factors. When the will to learn equates to excellence in education system, then we have some hella work to do in balancing this equation.

Young minds that are not harvested, neglected and talents ignored. This is how we kill our younger generations and mould then into "things" we want them to be just like the ang ku kua mould that will only create one type of shape of ang ku kua. This is sad, cause when we talk about culture, we can only talk about racial harmony and lets not go into the explicit details of how untrue it is.

If you happen to stumble upon this, just a small note that I am not an angry, angsty university student struggling with my academic life or failing it. In fact, I am excelling pretty darn well and have a great life of my own. But the lurking problems in our education system irks me and I am just glad that this whole thing will be over very darn soon.

sick again

2011-05-08T10:01:00.000-07:00

everytime when I feel sick or unwell, I will always have some life philosophy to share.... hmmmm .... properly cause one's mind is weakest and most vulnerable. /shrug here goes....

WE WERE ALL SANE ONCE

remember the times when the mere covering and revealing of face with a cute sound can send us into hysterical laughter? the times when the thought of one tiny little sweet is enough to make our day.

In this mad crazy rat race, we go for accomplishments, certifications often for the goals we do not have in mind, but just follow suit. The times when my heart pound because I will be rewarded a candy rather than the announcement of GPA results; the times when i feel sad due to my mum having to go shopping and have me babysitted at my grandma house instead of failing to accomplish whatever people could. Our minds are poisoned, poisoned by pragmatism, pragmatism this world think they couldnt live without.

The GE 2011 reflect so much on the world i live in now. When humans get too comfy, they tend to look for more, taking what they owned for advantage. They bite hands that once fed them, rolled eyes that once empathise them, often because they get too comfortable. When humans get too comfy they seek challenges, challenges that are whimsical and self orientated.

we were all sane once, when life was simple and easy. It is our desire to improve that pushed man to the edge of technology and it is also this desire to push us down the edge of humanity. If you happen to chance upon this blog, close your eyes and think of the things that made you proud except for the fame, accomplishment in our mad rat race, tiny little things like smiling to a frowning stranger, giving up seat to an old women, making funny faces at little babies and laugh with them. If you need to take some time to recall, then you got some living to do.

I walked out of my air-con room and felt a surge of stifling warm air slamming upon my whole body. Oh boy, I am not a religious person but, we are already in living hell =(

道

2011-04-23T10:14:00.000-07:00

Suddenly got so inspired by dao..... hmmmmmm, considering the amount of time researching it, I should be: HC205 report, PPT, HC230, movies like a chinese ghost story.

Intriguing thoughts, that popped to people's mind thousands of years ago.

Alittle bit of zen + dao never harms.

what happened?

2011-04-15T08:01:00.000-07:00

when I was young, i said "my dad is not eat snake king, he is sarbo king." My dad laughed heartily at me

when I was a teenager, I said "my dad is not eat snake king, he is sarbo king." My dad smiled at me.

when I was a young adult I said "my dad is not eat snake king, he is sarbo king." My dad frowned at me.

when I was old enough I said, "my dad is not eat snake king, he is sarbo king." My dad chided me.

What happened?

无题

2011-04-09T05:07:00.000-07:00

你闻得到晨风的兴奋吗？
你看得见音乐的快乐吗？
你听得见笑容的甜美吗？

我承载着你的幸福，细品人生。

creativity

2011-04-04T11:41:00.000-07:00

I feel creativity being slurped away from me thanks to the hectic university lifestyle most students have. I need to recharge my creativity before this becomes permanent; this is a serious matter.

Monotony, schedules, deadlines are getting the better of me and somehow disallow my creativity to flow somehow. What I do everyday boring the hell out of me and I need a break. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

But if I were to view this in another perspective, then it wouldnt be so bad after all. The time has come to put my personality, capabilities to the blazing test to see if I am up for the world right ahead of me.

Gah I cant even organise my thoughts and blogs properly these days. Crap man.

I guesss I will be better off bloggin in phrases. lawls.

Live hard, Play Hard.

pfft

2011-03-20T11:05:00.001-07:00

I am so unimpressed with this brain of mine these days. So much for superbrain. What makes it special, kills it too. Emotions polarizes the human brain and artificial intelligence and that is the very same factor that cause breakdowns in many.

okay so now recess is officially over and the heat is on. Some one must have invisibly turned the knob for slow cooker to high and I am feeling the pressure now. This semester is so heavy with so much content and powerpoints, reports and retarded people to work with :( I guess I really need to get better to help these people.

I hate it that this is a mindless academic rant with no humour at all. Stress is really making me a boring person. :/

My ical on my computer is like playing minesweeper of difficulty level ULTRA HARD whereby there is barely a place you click and you will be safe ( not planted with a academic activity). This is bad.

My body is feeling the toll and it isnt helping my my tutee is so defiant these days. Just hope that I will not decide to swing him out of his 14 storey condo and go down with him :/ oh gawd, what am I blabbering about. tsk.

the only comforting thing that I can do is that I have already came out with a brief overview/plan of how to survive till the final exams. but, but, but, time is sooo limited.

I am glad I did give myself sometime to think about things in life during the holidays before all the shit start slamming down on me like when you are trying to take a small item from a high place and you accidentally made the heavy box of whatever shit fell down too because you pulled too hard.

Yea no more whining. this sem shall be better than last sem.

Just
Got
To
Breathe

overwhelmed

2011-03-20T08:09:00.000-07:00

suddenly i felt so overwhelmed by the many things i need to do. shit.

I need sleep i guess.

mental state is really very important.

it can really stagger my progress.

my head felt like i was just ran over by a bullet train. zzzzzzz.

great and now i am super grumpy and I am cursing/ scolding everyone in my head who contributed to my headache.

argh.

i hate this

recess please

2011-03-07T21:39:00.000-08:00

i seriously do not understand why this semester is so damn hectic that I have barely any time to breathe for the past half a month.

Finally its going to be over (half a semester that is). I am so in need of recess to do some catching ups: sleep, studies, myself.

but amidst all these scurry, i actually feel contented that I chose the right course for uni.

One of my tutorial teacher once said something that I found it true: 学知识，要学可以安身立命的

we all know some students are guilty of choosing a course because of its prestige and money rolling prospect, but when those knowledge comes to application in their daily lifes, they rarely put them to use. I am just happy that my subject enables me to learn about philosophy and the language we speak :)

Still i need to re evaluate myself :/

eeps

2011-03-07T07:47:00.000-08:00

sometimes i creep myself out when i talk to myself while looking at facebook stati.

hahahaha oh no, i am officially cacooning into some weird artsy freak. eeps.

Just a Dream

2011-02-18T07:17:00.000-08:00

一个人有生命，但不一定有灵魂
一个人聪明，但不一定有智慧
一个人有目标，但不一定有梦想

一个人可以读得懂你写的字，但不一定懂你所要表达的意思

活，要活得精彩,充实。

awww suddenly I got so inspired by five 81 year old uncles who are pursuing their dreams.

李白

2011-02-16T07:45:00.000-08:00

The first part is a question that people once asked 李白： why do you want to live in the mountains? The poet did not give a direct answer, but instead he returned a smile.

问余何事栖碧山，
笑而不答心自闲，

The peach blossoms and the pristine river flows to the distance
This is a sanctuary!
桃花流水遥然去，
别有天地非人间.

Many a times, people ask questions that we do not want to answer in our lives; stupid ones that they obviously know the answer, cunning ones that have hidden motives behind them, or simply a genuine one that you know people would not understand. The last scenario is what the poet is portraying.

Sometimes people just dont get how you tick. When we were young, we may try to explain ourselves, but as we grow older, we realise such explanations are futile unless that think like we do, however, we cannot be rude or ignore the others, but instead, we return a smile.

I am truly thankful that I have a group of friends that do understand me and tick the way as I do ( the horrors! if you are on the other side of the shore)

Sometimes I just need to be stronger to stay close to my values and not get wavered by trivialities

:/

2011-02-10T13:27:00.001-08:00

I am such a light sleeper, even the sounds of newspaper flippin can wake me up. grrrrrr.

meh

2011-02-06T06:55:00.000-08:00

something is wrong with me, or the lecturer. I dont understand a shit coming from his mouth and his explanations doesnt seem to link up.

mehhhhhhhhh

hc205

2011-01-29T22:46:00.000-08:00

I am spasming so hard everytime I try to revise this subject. The content is simply toooo ( I know I shouldnt be saying this but...) cheena and the concepts are so friggin abstract :(

" Spend 10 mins before every lecture to read up"

Seriously? When you say read do you mean just going through the words and dont process any shit at all? Cause tbh I spend 3 hrs the first time trying to sort out the framework of the chpt and 5 hours to fully understand it.

/shrug

china bitches :/

Sluggish

2011-01-26T09:50:00.000-08:00

The start of the new term is rather sluggish, with hell loads of things happening around me:

Panic attack for add drop
Horrible timetable to rectify due to gaming
tutee is getting from bad to worse
unlucky encounters throughout the day

/shrugs oh well, I suppose I am using up all my bad luck for the year to welcome MR BUNNY.

wooooooooooo. Hope the bunny year is a good year for all serpents. lalalala.

Had some problems getting my engine started, due to the disgustingly horrible slack lifestyle I adopted during the holidays.

BUT FINALLY

VROOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

its starting again.

Prepare , fuel up!

We have a great semester ahead =D

Fruits of labour

2011-01-19T07:14:00.000-08:00

I believe if I have to use a fruit to describe the labour i went thru, it would be durian: You have to spent hella time using a knife to break open the husk to finally get what might or might not be good inside.

4.38.

Disappointed.
Happy enough.

I suppose I have to be appreciative of what I have, if not those who got lower than me will be queueing up to hoot me.

When you are put in a competitive environment, engage it, dont shun it as at the end of the day you will grow stronger and better. You may get tired along the way, but try to remember why you want to do things in the first place. If you cant find a good reason, you have some major rethinking to do.

Actually I am really happy enough and glad that at least I did not get a BOOHOO 3.

another random thing. I think most of my friends are damn zai lol. all 2nd upper and above. yay!

New term is starting soon T.T which means another challenging new chapter of life is going to unfold! When you have goals in life and you look forward to something, everyday is a brand new day to fulfill your dreams.

LIVE YOUR DREAMS. only then, you are living :D

Disturbia

2011-01-08T09:26:00.000-08:00

What do you do when you wake up in the middle of the night feeling disturbed out of nowhere, it maybe your dreams and dreams may be a reflection of reality. /shrug

tsk. I just woke up from one.

I saw this teenage girl coming in from the MRT together with her mother, hmmmmm, actually they didnt really come in together, because she delibrately made an effort to keep a distance with her mother. At first she stood a few metres away from her mother and when her mother called for her, she walked up with a frown on her face, staring daggers at her mother. I look at the teenage girl, and I can sense irritation, embarrassment from her body language. Yes, she felt irritated and embarrassed with her mother. Irritated that they fact that she was a grown up girl and her mother still called her "GIRL!" in public, embarrassed that her mum was shouting across the mrt to call for her.

For that very moment of irritation and embarrassment, I saw a projection of myself when I was young.

How many selfs did you see when you are in the process of growing up? It can be a manifestation of behaviour, or a certain unhealthy hobby you see others doing, or even an action you grew out of.

I remembered vividly that when I was her age, I was shopping with my mum in a mall, she held my hand as usual, just like when how she held my hand when I was young, but this time, i shook it off. I felt embarrassed cause I thought I grew out of these things.Also, I would always stare at my mother when she shouted HAO HAO in public, cause I felt it was totally embarrassing. This is a guilt that I carry for my life. Ahhhh, the good old times.

Lesser the stock the higher the market value.

just like how memories are only more precious with time, not that they are not precious in the first place.

Life is a factory of memories, spinning tales as time goes by.

quotes

2010-12-27T23:57:00.001-08:00

heard this quote from somewhere

希望上天赐给我一颗平静的心，来面对我所不能改变的。
希望上天赐给我一颗勇敢的心，来追求我所能改变的。
希望上天赐给我智慧，来分清楚两者。

Although every sentence starts with Heaven or what ever you call it, its still god darn true isnt it? (no pun intended) Sometimes when things are not within our control or when we do not have courage to face whatever is in front of us, we secretly pray to whoever god or unknown force in the universe to grant is the strength or peace of mind. Not forgetting we need wisdom to be able to differentiate the former from the latter.

I suppose this is how religion works. An unknown force to drive us on, give us strength.

Well yea, I believe we have seen countless people ranting, grumbling about how good some people are, born with good things in life around them. One good examples are old people. We may always classify them as being experienced, because of the things they been through in life, but it is the very same thing that backfire them when they meet the same situation in an everchanging society, Old people grumble about things being expensive, old people grumble about youngsters being rude, old people grumble about everything.

Ironically enough.

If you notice,

I

am

Grumbling.

TSK. getting olds

泡沫之夏

2010-12-25T10:00:00.000-08:00

yay finally I have time to watch some nice taiwan drama series and relax before the hectic semester starts again, but well, as usual, every serials call for a inevitable realisation about life. This time its about:

L-O-L-O-L-O-L-O-V-E

tsk tsk tsk. where shall I start? In the dramas, movies we never fail to see handsome hunks and gorgeous babes falling in love with each other; they always fall in love under the wrong circumstances and eventually they will overcome all odds. But in reality, is that the truth? Many want to hop onto the "love" bandwagon, because of the facade presented to them by the media, hoping to indulge in a romantic fantasy.

Is love a process which you have to constantly remind yourself of; or is love a destination where you can alight once the blissful church bell rings.

幸福是嘴角的微笑

幸福是一个空空的礼物盒，
待你用爱心来填满

幸福可以是路途，
牵着爱的人走完

幸福是知足，
深深的感恩和默默的祝福

To all the troubled couples out there, think before you have sex. LAWL.

ANTM-struck

2010-12-14T22:15:00.000-08:00

I spend my whole night/morning yesterday at 3am to complete my viewing my antm cycle 15. It was really fruitful, to me.

It revives and reminds me of the things that I am fighting for, instead of just letting go and let things come. Many times, I set high expectations for myself and I tend to not achieve it; but sometimes, I actually do, and when that happens, I am happy for myself.

Will one let go and not fight because he is afraid of disappointment and discover his limitations? I believe everyone may have a guilty answer, for me its a big YES.

Uni has been so stressful and I have been so caught up with not cracking under the stress that I really forgot what I am fighting for: to outshine myself every single time. This had never been an easy feat, and i do get lost along my way. Afterall, my life till now was built on a foundation of disappointment.

Wipe off the pity tears, put on the genuine smile,it is LIFE we are talking about and its not about bright, sunny and happy all year round. We will be sad, bitchy, grouchy over things and thats perfectly normal.

Fighting for what we want should not dull our personality but instead breathe life into us and make our personality shine more.

When you feel weak, defeated and have no more fighting left, think of the reason why you wanted to pursue it in the first place. Try not to devalue yourself, your goals, saying that they are overrated.

It is through goals and aims that make grow, and it is the fighting that made us stronger to carry on what we dream of.

Trust your instincts, close your eyes, and leap. =D

we can all do it!

exams

2010-12-13T07:38:00.001-08:00

well, i cant wait for it to be over.

I have hell loads of thinking to do =(

losing myself again. rah~

Expectations

2010-12-11T06:55:00.000-08:00

When you ease yourself of expectations, you are freeeeeeeee =D

Time

2010-12-06T09:11:00.000-08:00

Why, despite desperate measures to maintain consistency during university I am still bothered by this same old friend here.

AHHHHHH!

I suppose things can always be polished.

I just hope.... hope that my gpa will not disappoint me. PLEASE

没时间，我没时间
一瞬间来到finals

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

premonition

2010-12-04T04:41:00.000-08:00

Dont think I am going to do well this sem. hc 201 is like a vacuum cleaner sucking away all my confidence for the gpa of this sem. its 4 AU some more =(((

And I have to take so much literature course =(((

Guess I really have to work and step on it

i really hope everything goessss well :/

hc201

2010-12-02T05:42:00.000-08:00

There is so much content for hc201 and I really want to give it up, but the teachers are being so nice by tipping us and all =(

FUCK THE EDUCATION SYSTEM

SRSLY.

Sigh. when can we learn for the sake of learning and not be stressed about such trivial shits.

Its so touching when my teacher keep saying ," hope to keep you students interested."

Yes she knows how hard being a singapore student is :((((((

After this ranting i still have to go back to literature and the thought of being unable to score well irks me and to think we have to take so much literature course.

FUCK.

sugar rush

2010-11-27T06:50:00.001-08:00

Studying and revising for examinations are fattening and diabetic; students tends to spam so much sugar just to achieve sugar rush. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

Well as you can see, I am in a state of sugar rush down and the symptoms are pretty obvious, I visa dance around my apartment, I start to jump on my bed :/, oh well crazy uni life I guess.

Things are so much lighter when you let go. Ahhhhh. Its like you clear your bowels full of shit and you feel so much better. :D

Not every can let go, because of different goals, beliefs and mentality.

I suppose I am lucky wooohoo.

Lalalala~ 3 more weeks

AnD i will be free to pursue whatever I want

until the next wave of zombie festering, brain eating "educational" semester comes in.

Press on people.
If you cant, you have to turn up the heat and
straighten your thoughts

signing offffffffffffffffffffffff
IMH chairmen XD

Just the way you are

2010-11-25T19:35:00.001-08:00

Finally glee is doing some nice new songs instead of some oldies this is a youngster series right!

Although this episode is about marriage and ceremonies but I feel that the theme is more of the word acceptance.

Bullies bully because they think that they can gain acceptance by being a strong and authoritative figure, which they cant; People who tends to criticise others think they can gain acceptance by putting others down and get others to agree with them, they can, but that is not acceptance.

In glee, everyone has a strong character portrayal, despite the many disputes and differences, they still believe in accepting people as who they are.

In reality, we never fail or be quick to say who is a fashion disaster, or who has a bad hair day, because we cannot accept people as who they are. But, have you ever thought that maybe the fashion disaster or mr/ms bad hair day was judging us as well? The cycle goes on and on.

However, if we were to uproot the root of the problem, it would ultimately be accepting ourselves as who we are. If we accepted the kind of person we are, we will be more accepting, cause in the end we know everyone is special and unique in their own way.

Pointing out the weakness of others doesnt make you strong.
Judging others doesnt define others, it defines yourself.

When you learn to be more strong in character, you will learn that criticisms of trivial superficial reasons are foolish and childish, cause they dont mean a thing.

Yes I know, i need to work towards it :/

EW

2010-11-25T07:07:00.000-08:00

I am totally disgusted by singapore's education system and how it turns out to be. It is a monster that not only deprives us of entertainment but also the true meaning of knowledge seeking.

I really wanted to learn things that I like for the sake of learning it, but the system doesnt allow it.

I tried to understand a very very very complex but basic concept but since its not coming out in the exams, I am going to skip it anyway. How fucked up is that

FUCKING HELL!

world-class education. MY ASS.

shrouded in mist

2010-11-21T08:32:00.001-08:00

yes this is my blog description. Sometimes I just feel that life is always shrouded in mist and you are just groping around hoping to get the best out of it.

Clouded with uncertainty,plagued with doubts,swarmed with expectations, I must press on.

LOL I love that sentence pattern. I forgot what is it even :/ Oh well.

I just press on and on and on hoping everything would turn out fine :)

Presence

2010-11-19T05:54:00.001-08:00

This thought flashed across my mind when I was walking home one day.

Previously, everytime when I am walking home or doing something that is not important, I tend to let myself go into auto-pilot mode. It is something that you can switch to so while you think about other stuffs, but recently I find it is rather stupid to do so. You see, sometimes I switch to auto pilot mode when I am with friends, only to realise that the gathering is over after I go home.

Hence, it is important to be present in what you are doing every now and then. Savouring life ya? boomz. When you are more present and less dreamy, you will realise alot of things that you have missed out.=)

I decide not to be a people's person but a me person. Its all about me, you know? ya,

你好我是lulu.

By the way,

PANADOL COLD + ENO + HELL LOADS OF VITAMIN C = OWNS INFLUENZA

Guyssssssssssssssssssss~ I'm back!

Somebody stop me !~ =))))

Geared

2010-11-19T02:29:00.000-08:00

I am armed with the necessities to fight the war!

Panadol cold + sweets + caffeine

Ready to go!

Nitty gritties in life

2010-11-17T07:45:00.000-08:00

Small little things in life to remind you the purpose of your existence, and I dont mean stationaries. ;/

You can get under my umbrella.

When I feel better that is

Light house

2010-11-16T06:45:00.000-08:00

Everytime when I am sick or when my mental state is weaker due to lack of sleep, I will always tend to fall into this fallacy of identity and goal again. I keep asking myself why and all the nonsensical blow your mind questions.

This time its no exception.

But luckily, I received by geography results back and it was really comforting, just like a pat on my back, lighthouse in L4D2, or one auntie getting a seat on SBS bus after a long morning of price haggling in the market, comforting and warm.

I need to take control of myself soon, Time is fleeting :(

Recover, I must. Be back, I will.

Sometimes, it is the little things in life that keep us going.

I reject

2010-11-15T03:59:00.001-08:00

Sickness : I reject.

hahaha. If only I could have her powers :)

Slowly picking up again

I am still awake

2010-11-12T10:29:00.001-08:00

LALALALALA. I am still awake because I couldnt get back to sleep.

As usual I am wide awake.

舉世皆濁我獨清，眾人皆醉我獨醒

Okie, these is one of my usual mad ramblings when I cant get to sleep.

At least I dont feel clouded with uncertainty any more, I can see things more clearly now after I sorted things out. :)

I realise my sentences are so random that they are like strands of memories pulled out from my thoughts/memories pulled out from my brain just like what Dumbledore did.

锐利的眼光
庖丁的利刃
孔子的仁爱

我徜徉在这世上

random me

2010-11-12T04:13:00.000-08:00

举直错诸枉，能使诸枉直

当一个人的心富足了，他才能真心诚意地帮人

否则

免了

Direction

2010-11-11T07:32:00.000-08:00

Directions is something that we all need, be it when we get lost in NTU, or when are in emotional distress. It can come in many shapes and forms if you bother to open up your imagination. It can be a direction sign, pointing to you directly where the toilet is; it can be the words of a stranger telling you where and how to get there verbally; it can also be a simple action or body language.

Simple action or body language? Let me illustrate with some examples:

In a BGR, the boy seem to be getting tired of the relationship and has been acting weirdly, so one day the girl decided to ask for some directions in the relationship from the guy. The girl asked: " Do you think we are going any where like this?" The guy was astonished by the candidness of the girl, he wanted to say what he feel, but he didnt, verbally. He folded his arms. The girl knew immediately that the relationship was over. Being in a relationship with the guy for 3 years, she knew him well enough to know that everytime when he felt uncomfortable about a lie, he would fold his arms.

What am I trying to say over here? Well, directions can be simple and straightforward like the signboard or the instructions of a stranger, but sometimes, it requires some thinking and deciphering about the hidden message within as long as you bother to search within the lines.

But of course not all directions given are correct. YOU MUST ASK THE CORRECT PERSON. You cant go around asking an old lady where is the LAN SHOP in ang mo kio, nor can you ask a little girl the location of a nearby SEX SHOP location. 解铃还需系铃.

Many times in life, we seek for directions but often bark on the wrong tree. Whenever you are in emotional distress, seeking others will be like the above mentioned examples, totally pointless. The only thing that can point us in the right direction is our heart.

Yes trust your instincts.

Dedicate this broadway song to whomever feels lost
Defying gravity:
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes: and leap!

Belong

2010-11-11T01:38:00.001-08:00

No matter who does what, as long as hes human, he just wanted to feel belong.

It can be a same lame joke cracked over a million times to the same old people, it can be pouring out worries hoping that people may understand. Different people have different ways of recognising if they belong.

The most simple gesture is a sincere, genuine smile or laugh.

Sometimes I wonder if I have been doing the wrong things for the wrong reason.

I think I understand now.

You reap what you sow

Irony

2010-11-11T01:11:00.000-08:00

Life is full of irony.

People that seem happy are actually sad.

Rosy picture turns out to be Dorian Grey's painting.

A polite gesture may has malicious thoughts.

Cause humans always use their eyes to judge things instead of the heart.

I just want to be a stupid, dumb person so I can go through life like all others and die ignorantly.

No more teenage dreams for me cause i whale it away. Hopefully my young adult dream is worth pursuing.

Katy perry: You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream.

Screwed

2010-11-10T09:03:00.000-08:00

My bio clock is officially screwed :( And being the weak-ass chew, I am likely to fall sick soon. boohoo man, boohoo.

I thought I could sleep for a good 4 years, but i woke up in 4 hrs :( WTF man srsly. I need to lighten up. I am like a megathrust Earthquake ready to go anytime.

Geography was fine today but i really hope i would Ace pluss it to pull up my other mid terms which I Bees plus it.

当你人生在于终点，你的人生早已结束
当你人生在于过程，天天都是新的一天

2010-11-09T08:23:00.000-08:00

如果你在未来看见我,
觉得我不成人形，
不要感到讶异，
不要批判我,

Instead

Join me in the world of madness
when skies are beds,
worries are candies,
and happiness is oxygen you breathe in.

《嫂子。双语篇》

LALALALA

2010-11-09T05:33:00.001-08:00

Insanity is the only thing keeping me sane.

Such is life

2010-11-06T11:01:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to dedicate one blog entry to being thankful about things in my life ATM. There are a million things that you can grit your teeth, grumble and /wrist at, but if you are willing to be thankful there are as many things that you can smile, feel warm about in life. Its all in the matter of perspective.

You can be thankful that you got a seat in the crowded SBS bus over one old lady who has been staring/hinting you to give up the seat to her, cause you have a choice.

You can be thankful that you still can go around calling people auntie and uncle before people stare at you weirdly because you happen to be one years down the road.

You can be thankful that you are given a choice to be thankful about the things in life.

All in all, being thankful is derived from the realisation that we have a choice no matter where we go. And if we keep this in mind, we will always be thankful for anything that happens to us.

Busy Busy Busy

2010-11-04T09:57:00.000-07:00

I stacked Busy three times, cause I am REALLY BUSY. Its busy to the extend that you find eating a waste of time, sleeping a waste of time and bathing a waste of time and lotsa other stuff that is actually staple in our life :/

The only thing that is keeping the flame in me burning is the interest I have in chinese and geography since young. So I have decided to only partake in subjects that I have interest in, I cannot imagine slogging for a subject that I hate, You cant bind a freee spirit like me *moves finger to and fro and shake like a Black Mama.

I am kinda relief that I embraced my arts nature, cause this is really where I should be, not in horrible technical and disgustingly dry theories and equations world of science. BUT even so, I cant help but still feel hapless and aimless in the things I am doing. As what steve jobs said," you cannot connect the dots looking forward but only when you look backwards" I HOLD YOU TO THAT HOR! Sometimes you just feel like singing kelly clarkson " I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly" and quit school and start kicking ass in the society already but unfortunately I got no BALLS to do that :(

This part of my blog shall be illustrate through a short story:

Once a young monkey lost his way when he was in a forest and happen to stumble across a family of rabbits. The family of rabbits saw the young monkey crying and decided to take him in and take care of him. The monkey learnt how to speak in the language of the rabbits, it adapted to the diet of the rabbits and lived under the same burrow as the family of rabbits.

One day the monkey asked the rabbit," Dont you find it squeezy in the burrow?"
The rabbits said,"No".
The monkey continued asking," Dont you find our food awful?"
The rabbits replied,"No"
The monkey asked a final question," Dont you find it lonely here with only a family of rabbits?"
The rabbits said," Why would we feel lonely? We have a family here."

At that time, the monkey almost forgot that he was never a rabbit.

Oh well. You can try hard to adapt and force yourself to make compromises but your true nature is what you cannot deny. Live true to myself, I will.

Critical Angle

2010-11-03T09:50:00.000-07:00

Recently, I have lots of thoughts about what is literature. I realise that literature is just like a candy, it will have different flavours that appeal to different kiddies. Therefore, in the world of literature, it is distinctively colourful. Note my choice of words, distinctively. Yes, there will be lots of opinions but you must be distinctive and opinionated. Meaning you cannot sit on the fence and say," I think blueberry is nice, blackcurrent taste good too, strawberry is decent, etc"

YOU MUST BE CRITICAL！

Imagine a candy that has strawberry, blackcurrent, cherry, durian, apple flavour all in it, certainly it would taste awful right? However, I do not object a healthy blend of fruity flavours that somehow complement each other just like how some theorems and complement each other, but to blend flavours that are on opposite side of the spectrum is just plain.... wrong.

You might be thinking that, "oh you are saying this cause you are a critical person and doesnt accept other point of view." Well let me put it this way, if you can argue your point across, I will be happy to compromise a common ground.

Just a random quote of the day:
At the end of the day, human are just animals trying to look for companions.

BO MUCH?

2010-11-02T08:08:00.000-07:00

I lost the motivation to blog recently as I found out that there was not much of a need to. You see, blogs are something that exist for humans as a form of self expression, however I find myself getting boring by the day and losing my self expression by the minute :( Nevertheless, as I was blog surfing, something within me re-ignited and I felt like a phoenix revived from the ashes again! :)

When I was looking through my blog entries, entries made by me when I was younger was whimsical and close to heart, I spurt out whatever I had in mind whether it was something crude or rude; entries made by me these days are so refined and restricted that I feel that I am losing my innate self as I mature.

So I am not going to let myself be some person I dont like and soooooo, here goes... :)

These few days, I have been innocently walking around minding my own business when I happen to catch a few whiffs of odour wafting into my nostrils, no let me correct myself, stench would be a better word- horrible stench of odour that smelt like dead body corpse, that is too pungent to be covered by the world most frangance curry. Allow me to reveal the topic sentence if you are still oblivious of the smelly situation here :

BODY ODOUR AKA BO

Probably you have heard those old grandmother stories about one getting BO if he criticizes someone else with it. That is not going to stop me cause I have my NIVEA ANTI-PERSPIRATION body DEODOURANT. Yes science and technology owns grand mother stories. Side-tracking for a bit here, I think its pretty dumb to let baseless unqualified theorems to deter you from saying a FACT, LIKE COME ONE, I always say people look good, and people are rich, so why dont these things happen to me :/
Back to the main point, SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY OWNS GRANDMAMA STORIES.

Let me further illustrate my mishap with BO-ers:

I was Queueing at the LWN library waiting for my turn to submit my print jobs for the printers to print. I saw an empty booth and I gleefully walked up, OH BOY i sure regretted that moment like how grooms regret marrying the bride only after saying I DO - you know you cant turn back. Oh Gawd. Whoever/whatever bless him man, GuanYinMa, Allah,Jesus,Indian Gods. He smell so strong, so badly strong that I felt as if some solid hammered my nose and I flinched, but as you know being the nice me just tried to get my business done there quickly.

Okie I am not trying to be mean, but srsly, be considerate, what if some poor, dainty, floral scented little gal sat beside you during lecture where the lecturer happens to say all the important questions for final years and she cannot concentrate because she had a auto AMBIPUR (Mens' flavour) beside him? Come on la, Body deodourants are cheap and easily available. Well, I could have bought it for you guys and spray it infront of you guys, but I am sure you people will feel insulted.

One more thing. If you know singapore has a hot, humid weather which induces intense sweating, try to not wear jeans or thick fabric, its common sense :)

sigh

2010-10-25T22:50:00.000-07:00

“诗穷而后工”
whenever you down in your mood, you poems will be at the best.
Really true. whenever I am in doldrums, i will just sit down, emo for a while and reflect.

Today is one such day when I raise my tiny imaginary Sihao Flag half way to mourn for the loss of my mid terms.

and I came up or rather 3 phrases pops to my mind:

终生不得志
I can never get what I want.

当你竭力追求一个目标，但又得不到，这是一种悲哀；快乐是其中一个

人生的悲哀，不在于懵懂，在于透视

A juxtapose to suffer in life

Still hope in the world

2010-10-25T08:31:00.000-07:00

Recently, I heard a song that is in japanese but the lyrics was translated to chinese. I felt so touched by the song. Every now people feel down and discouraged, some turned to religions, some turned to loved ones, while I turn to songs.

If i were to address a letter to my future self, then i know i will be able to speak my mind.

I love this sentence, it shows how lonely and sad the person is

Greetings,
You who are reading this, where are you and what are you doing now?

I’m 15 and there’s something worrying me
That I can’t talk to anyone about

But if I address a letter to my future self
Then I know I’ll be able to speak my mind

I feel like giving up now, I feel like crying, I feel like I’m going to disappear
Whose words should I trust as I move forward?
My one and only heart has broken into pieces time and time again
And I’m living through painful times now
I’m living in the present

Greetings,
Thank you, I have something to tell your 15 year old self

If you keep asking yourself why and where you should go
The answer will become clear

The seas of adolescence can be rough
But keep sailing the boat that is your dream towards tomorrow’s shore

Don’t give up now, don’t cry, when you feel like you’re going to disappear
Then you should trust your own voice and move forward
Even an adult like me gets hurt and has sleepless nights
But I’m living in the bittersweet present

Everything in life has meaning
So don’t be afraid to follow your dream
Keep on believing

I feel like giving up now, I feel like crying, I feel like I’m going to disappear
Whose words should I trust as I move forward?
Ah, don’t give up now, don’t cry, when you feel like you’re going to disappear
Then you should trust your own voice and move forward
No matter what stage of your life you’re in
You can’t get by without going through sadness
Show me a smile, let’s live in the present
Let’s live in the present

Greetings,
I pray that you who are reading this
Will be happy

HC 101

2010-10-22T08:51:00.000-07:00

Okie. Intro to literature.

Intro to literature is getting from bad to worse. Its like a wanna-be factory where all the people who wanna-be famous starts to hop on this bandwagon by trying to define what is unfathomable as a women's thought. As long as you come up with something new and make sense, then BAM, you have come up with a NEW definition of an old concept. If literature is fried rice that is being re-fried over and over again by these people, I would say the end product is not only the fried rice became CHAO DA, but it clumped together like a big ball of carbon.

Seriously man, Same Concept with new definitions just keeps popping up every day.

I guess this is why most lit students are bitchy cause it is instilled in them to stir shit out of the toilet bowl as if it was the fresh food they just cooked. * shrugs.

I almost died

2010-10-21T09:05:00.000-07:00

Yes. I almost died. Not literally.

I decided that I was too stressed up in university and I had been neglecting my inner self, so I downloaded the game League of Legends. Embracing my gaming nature was an awful decision. The moment I started playing, the whole game addiction feeling was back. I suppose this is how drugs addict feel when they go back to drugs. I played for one and a half day and i couldnt stop just like how the litte red shoe kept dancing until the girl had to have her legs chopped off.

I keep telling myself in university, I have already been so consistent, I should be able to juggle gaming and work, right? Sadly, I couldnt, I was playing the god damn game when my test is coming up :( So, i decided that its time to pull the plug, I uninstalled the game and I felt light and free againnnnnnnnn. *meng spins around with the bird's eye camera view on my happy face.

I played for one and a half days only and I felt so dam guilty as if I killed some one. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. In the past, I can simply play wow and srsly wow away my whole life. That is how WoW destroyed my secondary and JC days. Sigh. And now I cannot let it happen again. Cause I am heeding what albert einstein said," doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is insanity" Geez, I have become such a boring, soon to be old man :( I cant even like games anymore, its like a little boy not being able to like candies anymore :(

In retrospect, I kinda felt relief that I did what I had to do.

This brings me to another problem, I NEED A HEALTHY HOBBY. It doesnt need to be those healthy sunshine hobbies that will give me C cups breast, 8 stone hard pebbles like abs and monstrous arms that look so out of proportion with the legs :P I just need something that I enjoy to past my time. Reading is out of the question as I am doing hella lots of readings due to my course.

My life in point forms:
1. school work
2. tuition
3. mug at home
4. going out with friends (seldom)
5 I NEED TO FILL THIS UPPPPPPPP

oh well. Better go sleep now I have a test in 8 hrs time. :)))))) Hang Yu Hang Yu

as usual a song for this post:

Bruno Mars

I like you just the way you are. For all the friends, relatives and enemies, stay true to yourself cause I like you just the way you are :)

Great thinkers of China

2010-10-17T08:01:00.001-07:00

After studying the great thinkers of china, I am here to rant and bitch about them as usual as they are the cause of the extra workload that I have.

孔子： Well this guy is my favorite. In fact this is the guy that brought me into the whole great thinkers in china thingy. His thinkings are warm and true. But to a certain extent its superficial in terms of the pursuit of glory and fame. Overall, it does teach me to live my life better.

孟子： okie this guy is ...... argumentative. He has quite interesting argument. BUT oh well its the same old china shit thinking.

庄子： This guy is horribly deep. together with his shifu Laozi. Oh god both of thing are like the city harvest church preachers and the guanyinma temple advocates.

韩非子：this guy is the coolest cause he integrated all the thinkings of the great thinkers and came up with his own thinking.

墨子：L-O-S-E-R. I have no other words to describe this guy. Seriously, wtf? This guy can go suck the balls of all the great china thinkers. I can describe his thinking using a modern cartoon song by BARNEY,"I love you, you love me, we are happy family" this guy says that the root of all problems is cause we dont love each other and YADAs on and on about it giving lousy examples and horrible illustrations. WHen i was reading it, I was OS-ing stop it already omg. you have made your fking simple point. Oh wait, I found another modern word for this guy. GAY :)

oh well. these great thinkers are giving me hella headache now and to think I will be majoring in them. I hope 墨子 is not being emphasized on, he can go kiss my ass seriously.

my love for chinese is waning and I dont know why :(

Imagination

2010-10-15T20:46:00.000-07:00

I like to imagine.

I love to strum the world smallest ukelele when I have nothing better to do.

I love to sing in showers and pretend that I am a concert artiste.

I do the credit card dance around my house and pretend that I am at different parts of the world.

I close my eyes to rearrange the world around me.

Give me a pencil and I can draw you the world.

Imagination is such a powerful tool if you can control it. It empowers an individual just like what religion do.

On a side note, you dont need to be too strong in life, hence there are religions

Samsung: Imagine

Inspired

2010-10-14T05:47:00.000-07:00

Today I saw a video by steve jobs the CEO of apple mac. It inspired me. There are several phrases which hit me so hard that I kept thinking about it for the entire day.

"when you connect the dots, you can only do so looking backwards"
BOOMZ. How many times have we told ourselves, whether the things we do are worth our time and commitment? How many times have we doubted our decisions in life due to social dogma? We always stop and ponder if the things we do in life will connect and form a rosy picture in the future. However, steve said that we cannot do that, we cannot connect the dots by looking forward. Many things in life is unpredictable and no one is able to fathom what is going to happen in the future, hence we can only follow our heart and do what interest us and let it guide us through. When we grow up if we fulfill by this simple but hard rule, the dots will automatically connect itself.

"in the face of death, everything seem worthless except for what really interest you"
Treat everyday as your last. I believe this is what we have all heard but brushed it off as a cliche. What steve said is basically the gist of the phrase. When we treat everyday as our last, the secondary superficial things in life doesnt matter anymore, what is most important is what our heart truly wants, only till then we will be able to unsheathe our pride and disregard the dogma that had been shackling our lives. This gives us a new life, a life which we live everyday as our heart please.

"search for what you like and if you cannot find it, dont settle."
Humans without goals and visions are no different from animals who is contented for bananas every 3 meals. We have to do what we like and only then, we can infuse our life with passion only then we are living a life. FIGHT for what you want and dont settle for things you dont like.

"your life is limited so dont waste it living someone else's life"
one of my favourite. its pretty much self explanatory.

Happily dying

2010-10-13T05:31:00.000-07:00

School has really been tiring, well although my timetable is so much slacker as compared to those of science and biz, but hey every faculty has their fair share of stress.

There were so many things in my mind that I wanted to blog about but I forgot all of them. Nothing. Oh well, impromptu blog post it shall be.

School has been really really enjoyable with so many good teachers around.

Mr Peter Pan: My language and linguistics teacher who is soooooo detailed and so fatherly that anything that is lacking from him is a halo. He manage to explain his technical module in such a comprehensive manner that it can be fun too! Although I do see some students dozing off constantly.

Mrs Teng: I call her the random 2 syllabic laughter teacher. She loves to mumble to herself when she finds something literally funny, she go " herher" out of a sudden. She has this quirky personality. She is so passionate about writing just as how Mao tze dong is passionate about his little red handbook. :)

Mr Chen: This is a special mention as he is only a PhD to be but his knowledge and humorous personality never fails to perk me up after being in school for 9 long hrs. He speaks as if hes shooting a machine gun and whether you are able to grasp his concept is one other thing. The way he explains something has this BOOMZ feel like those feel of enlightenment where he used a simple short sentence to explain a complex concept.

University is a place of expression especially in humanities. Time to be an enthu learner and answer more questions in class. HeiSho HeiSho!

I spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly

Oh yea i rmb one thing that I wanted to blog about. I was talking to this NUS student in FASS.

NUS STUDENT: FASS doesnt feel threatened by HSS because NUS is ranked 34 while NTU is ranked 174. :/

Oh, at that moment I was stumped, but NO. This statement just shows that NTU students are far much better, in fact 6 times better than NUS, because, considering that they do not have an competitive edge over us in any way in terms of employment, the NTU studens must be 6 times brighter or better than NUS to achieve this, while the over-complacent NUS student merely banked on the superficial title brought about to them by other faculties in their school :)

Yawns

2010-10-09T21:32:00.000-07:00

Just had my replenishing sleep of 13 hours, I hope this covers all the sleep debt I owe to my body. Cause a Brand new week is coming up *smiles

As I was innocently browsing through facebook, I happen to come across a phenomenon, a horror. Why do fugly shits love to cam whore? Dont be so mean la, Sihao. Come on, I am just curious where they get their .... errmmmmmm... denial from. If you love to camwhore thats fine and if you post it on facebook book, a medium with a few million users everywhere , and scare them? That is not very considerate is it? *shrugs Dont really care, just that I happen to step on the landmine and encounter a mini horror photoshoot, and being the I must get to the end attitude, I was forced to go through the horror picture film. My eyes teared, bled and blacked out in resistance but I went on.

Well, I suppose the omnipotent force looking over all of us is fair. When they give us something they take away something. Prolly they had trucks of self confidence but little looks to go with it, and consideration too.

From a famous chinese song to illustrate this post.

I forgot by who but I rmb the chorus

我很丑，可是我很温柔～

for all those fugly shits out there which are gentle. :)

Symptoms

2010-10-09T07:23:00.000-07:00

I am as stressed as San Andreas fault.

As whiny as those poets from the past

As bitchy as Xia Xue when blogging

What symptoms are these?

I wanna hold your hand

2010-10-07T05:35:00.000-07:00

Glee did it once more, I am moved.

Every cast has a stark personality and it just protrudes and stand out individually.

This week the song for the week is I wanna hold your hand by The Beatles. The version that we heard of is the cheery, bubbly version, but the version glee performed this week is the sad rendition of I wanna hold your hand.

Sometimes when we are insecure about things in life, we look to our parents and hope they can give us some comfort to chase our insecurities away. It does not need to be lengthy words of wisdom, it can be something simple, like a hug, or a smile. Knowing that the smile, and the hug will always be there for us in times of need.

Holding hands may seem something childish, or something people will go "ewwwww", but you cannot deny the feeling or the meaning behind the gesture. Its a simple yet powerful way of showing your love for someone. Couples, parents and kids hold hands all because they love each other. It is a gesture that never age.

When we were young, we hold the hands of our parents as we waltz through childhood. As we grow up, we might not like to hold hands anymore because people usually view it as being childish.

Oh, please, say to me
You'll let me be your man
and please, say to me

You'll let me hold your hand
Now let me hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand

Kurt In glee said these when her mother died.

"I looked up at my dad and wanted him to say something, say something to let me know that my whole world isnt over and he just took my hand and squeezed it. Knowing that these hand are there to take care of me, that is enough."

Is there someone whom you wanna hold hands with now?

Study smart, Not hard

2010-10-07T04:24:00.000-07:00

Okie finally the mini hell week is over..... I didnt know that 朴老师 who seems to be so friendly and obliging at all times can be so stringent when it comes to handing in of assignments. She rejected our presentation TWICE and BOTH at ungodly hours; 12mn and 1am in the morning, just when I am about to turn in. Coupled with my Geography test which I didnt really pay attention to, the viral strand dont seem to go over instead, it mutated from a cold strand to a throat inflammation strand. :((

The presentation was decent I guess, considering the tremendous amount of effort that we put in, it would be really sad if it didnt go well. The geography test was a bigg boooohooooo. I guess this is what happened when you neglect it for a chinese test :((

Then it really struck me.

I have been doing things wrongly. I have been studying too hard, instead of smart. grrrrrr, Whats wrong with me. Yea I will not stress myself unnecessarily ever again.

Oh yea. These few days, due to the failure of my geography test, it made me realise alot of things.

Youngster these days tend to blast music into their ears, its as if their ear drums are thick sheets of plastic that wont seem to tear. Its to such extent that when I put on my earphones and listen to MY music, I could hear the music coming out from their earphones. wth? But then I came up with a theory as to why did they blast the music to their ears:

As we are not able to listen or hear something carefully, we turn up the volume so their sound waves will travel to our ears thus making it audible. When we listen to music, we put our heart and soul to listen to the melody and tune. If our heart is distant from the music, we need to blast it for the same effect when do pay attention. It is sad to know that many teens or youngsters do not understand the meaning of music and cannot appreciate the music enough to be able listen to it at softer volume. Thus, only by blasting the music NEXT to their ears, they are only barely able to enjoy the music. Hence, they are not listening to music, they are merely hearing music.

The louder the music, the lesser you understand it

Being sick ftl!

2010-10-04T07:52:00.000-07:00

Everyone hates to be sick, especially at untimely moments when midterms are heralding your way.

When I get sick I get mean, when I get mean, I get grouchy, When I get Grouchy, I tend to be bitchy. And when I am bitchy, some one is gonna get hurt, real bad.

hahaha kidding. The bitching part is true though.

Trying to equilibrate my school life in being a consistent student has already been proven hard and now this Virus Strand has to jump into the equation to complicate matters. I have to adapt, shouldnt I?

Some chinese literature pieces are dull, boring, mundane and definitely baffling. They complain about the same old thing..... yader yader yader.... over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again ( you get what I mea right?) and over and over and over and over and over and over again. YES this is how repetitive they can get. When you thought its over, it bounce right back up like a sinusoidal curve. To make things worse, the style of writing can be so dark and gloomy with intended malicious brainwashing china messages infiltrating our young, pure and innocent minds.

Hence I prefer modern essays more.

Let me show you how crazy I am now. You know when you studied for something hard enough, everything you say or do, you will be able to find a theory or concept pertaining to the subject you studied. Let me give you a personal example:

I am so stressed up with my school life that I decided that I should not try to tolerate it but let loose once in a while, if not I would behave like the tectonic plates with stress accumulated within them and finally the rupture of the fault when the stress was too immense to take. Thus, with occasional creep quakes will preserve my sanity. And then I strayed off to this thought of, "hey i think i have learnt alot from 《庄子》after I completed the presentation. Cause everything originates from 道 so the thinking I have is definitely normal! Everything in the world is 道, so if I am about to gain insights of the natural process of the Earth, then I can 得道！“

hence I came up with a conclusion, you need to study geography to attain NERDvarna

Hmmmm is there any song to describe my current blog post......

I guess not.

Wait I think I found one. Its not really a song I guess cause the chores is the verse and the verse is the chores, but it is a little ever-looping melody that never fades with time so you can listen to it FOREVER.

南无阿弥陀佛

Natural hazards and disasters

2010-10-01T10:07:00.000-07:00

What is commonly known as a natural hazard and disasters are Mother's nature conjuring out phenomenons which is deadly enough to incur deaths and loss to the human population.

However, I feel that given the modernisation of the society and the world, I can refine and test the borders of these definitions. Lets not try to stray too far, lets just talk about Singapore. You might be sniggering at my ignorance for saying that, as Singapore does not face any natural hazards and disasters, let me tell you this:

You are wrong.

Natural hazards are defined as a natural process that poses a threat to human life or property. Whereas a disaster is an event that causes significant damage to life or property.

In the Singapore's education, we face such crisis, or should I say, we face such natural hazards and disasters.

The Singapore's education system from pri 1-6, sec 1-5, junior college, polytechnics, ITEs, Universities has pose a huge hazard to us young little growing minds.

Firstly, we had always heard advocates of being able to learn what we want and the diversification of education, but I would say this is all bullshit. The education system has always being conveniently and politically skewed towards the interest of the country which sadly made us puppets for the countries. :( SO why does it pose a threat to human life? Studying something that you DONT like and having a chance to use the relavant knowledge to slog for the rest of your life is what I called merciless killing. What is life without passion in what you are doing? And sadly enough, these stifling cycle is a natural process where all sound young minds must go through.

It takes one major hurricane to kill hundred thousands people lives, and it takes one flawed education system to ruin hundred thousand people's future.

You might say : This crazy person is being too extreme. Well, think about it. Have you ever felt stifled by the education system. I certainly believe so, and I believe you shrugged it off like how anyone would. You do not feel the gravity of the situation as we have always been constantly brainwashed and immersed in this toxic environment.

Quote from my one of my favourite song: TOXIC

With the taste of the posion paradise, your toxic gum zip it up. With the taste of the lips, I'm on the rise, I'm addicted to you dont you know that you're toxic

I think, I'm ready now. Intoxicate me now.

Glee Songs

2010-09-29T09:34:00.000-07:00

Billionaire songs plays in the background

I wanna be a billionaire, so freaking bad~

Yes everyone wanna be something so freaking bad. It can be one auntie wanting 10 cents off the fish she bought at the market; it can be a multi million dollar investor waiting and definitely wanting a golden opportunity to invest in a profitable market. This song really shows the direct expression of wanting something freaking bad but in a non malicious way. Well, why do I say in a non malicious way? Imagine those corporate backstabbings and slanderings, yep those are evil intentions generated when you want something but cannot get it.

If only humans can stay true and hold on to what this song is trying to express. The purity of thought of wanting something without distorting it into a horror picture of Dorian Grey. You can want something so bad but still be hopeful towards it, not everyone can do that you know?

I wanna have good GPA, so freaking bad~ Score all the Ace's I never had~ I wanna be the cover of Dean's magazine, smiling next to provost and the dean =D

HEHEHE. well its a hope that I bear and of course in a non-malicious way.

Everytime I close my eyes, I see my name in shining lights.

Ready for those Shining lights. Cause you know baby, I. I'm your biggest fan I'll follow you until you "dean" me papa-paparazzi~

hahaha oh god. Mash-up rocks.

If only things are as pure as they started out to be, wouldnt it be nice? oh god here I go again~

Wouldnt it be nice~ HAHAHAA

A story of a Story

2010-09-29T05:50:00.000-07:00

This is a story of a story whereby a guy is writing a story. So what makes this story so interesting that the guy must write about the story? Its actually a story of 2 irritating people:

Once upon a time in NTU, there live a studious boy who looks overgrown and has the looks of an unevolved primeape. He has a certain flair in literature and never fails to boast about it through his bombastic literature questions. Just like any other day, he would happily ask the teacher about questions about irrelavant topics like metafiction, modernisn and surrealism; hence disrupting the lesson on intertextuality. The better students couldnt be bothered, while the weak students would suffer as they do not understand a shit he is talking about. WHY is he so self-centered and selfish you may ask? You gotta ask the !Kung Bushmen yourself. Why must someone always take opportunity to brag about his knowledge, I dont know, but if you ask me I think they are just like women with inferior complexity going for BooB jobs the more atrocious the merrier.

On the same frigging day during a lecture hall, little miss brown riding hood decided to buy Macdonalds into the lecture hall even though she was not hungry. She gracefully tore open a packet of garlic chilli, intentionally allowing the smell to permeate through the hall and started to eat her fries daintily, as if she is was eating popcorns while watching a movie. And from time to time, she would turn left right back and offer her friends some food cause she couldnt finish them all!! You may think that this brown riding hood must love picnicking, I think so too. When her friends decided to be RESPECTFUL to the lecturer and be CONSIDERATE to the students listening, they rejected her offer. But being a nice, elagant slut, she had to throw the fries at the guys so as to display her cuteness and whorality ( a new word i invented from whore)

If you do happen to meet any of the two characters, do not feel shy, please DO FEEL free to throw them a Disdainful look of DISGUST and walk away. If they are not looking at you, just gently tap their shoulder and do that. Cause in this modern civilised world, this is the best we can do to express our most sincere and genuine feelings towards them.

GLEE'S BACK!

2010-09-28T09:56:00.000-07:00

Glee never fails to empower me with a sense of optimism, passion for life and humour.

Glee season 2 is back with much power-packed scripts, the actors and details are returning with sophistication.

Life your life with passion, or it aint nothing.

Mrs Teng lesson today is enriching and fun as usual, I learnt alot of new stuff in which helps to create a powerful voice lol.

Starting to love being in Chinese, but lets all hope this passion will be backed up by sense of satisfaction, my good results =D

Confessions of CHEW SIHAO

2010-09-23T09:13:00.000-07:00

I SLEPT TOO MUCH TODAY!

There you go, confession confessed. Must be the light breeze coupled with overcast skies- killer combination and a natural concoction for sedative effects.

Up till now, I must say that I am so far still able to handle my school work. But I do see my fellow comrades struggling around me. Its just like in a battle field where you see your comrades getting shot down one by one and you try to help them but realise that if you spend too much time doing so you will get shot down too. :( I try my best to help people whenever I can if it doesnt impairs me too much. I would say that I am ahead of most peers in academic terms.

It all came with a cost.

All I do is mug. Well. Today is MAF and I see children with traditional candle laterns and those electric music laterns that I always yearned to have since I was small. I see people playing with candles and also hell lots of people having fun during MAF. I did felt a slight tingling sensation, of loneliness but as from the previous blog post, you can see that I enjoy solitude, BUT i suppose humans are party/crowd animals after all.

Yea I will slowly restore back balance to my life. I am far too disciplined now, so much so that I feel my soul being syphooned out of meeeeeeeeee body. I shall spend less time stoning and rotting and do more pew pew.

HAPPY MAF EVERYONE. ENJOY YOUR MOONCAKES. AND IF YOU HAPPEN TO COME ACROSS A SMALL NOTE SAYING:"YOU UGLY BITCH" PROBABLY SOME ONE IS TRYING TO TELL YOU SECRETLY THAT YOU ARE A BITCH. just like how the inventor of note-in-a-mooncake person informed the other person that a war is going to break out.

evil

2010-09-21T09:29:00.000-07:00

You know what is evil?

Afternoon naps.

They rob you of your beauty sleep at night.

Grrr i shouldnt have slept in the afternoon. Now I am as awake as an owl ;(

And I realise I am not the only nocturnal ones lol. My adium has the most friends being online now, and my facebook has like 44 people online. tsk tsk.

I hope by the end of this blog writting I will get sleepyyyyyyyyy.

Hmmmmm doesnt seem to be working :(((

Maybe my blog entry is not long enough.

Tomorrow is the longest day of the week and I have 6 hrs to sleep. Nuooooooooo. I am so going to be a walking zombie tml.

孤独

2010-09-21T02:42:00.001-07:00

I shall blog in chinese once in a while so as to ensure that I remain relevant and skilled in my written linguistic skills. Here goes:

孤独是一杯冷咖啡和一碗牛肉面。

我今天和自己享用午餐。

年轻的时候，觉得人越多越好；但是长大以后发现一个人的快乐。一个人如果太习惯人的陪伴时，会不会就因此迷失自己？我为什么回这么说呢？当一个人没有留时间给自己，他又怎么能看到自己，反省自己。有些人沉溺于别人的陪伴，不能没有它，因为人的存在喂养着他因而让他觉得充实。在分乱的世界里，要找到自己与沉淀自己确实不容易，有的人因为太习惯有人在他的左右而往往害怕面对自己的心灵。当自己孤独的时候，就会觉得不安。

孤独让我可以坦然地面对自己，无羁无绊的享受逍遥的时刻，想到哪里就道哪里，想做什么就作什么无须跟任何人交代，多好。孤独并不是悲哀，也不是无奈，而是一种选择。脱离了群众，而找到了自己。有些人忙于交际，忙得自己不可开交最终换来的又是什么？

曲终人散是无可避免的，如果天天都盲求于陪伴，那么你天天就是人群的奴隶。孤独洗礼我的灵魂，给我勇于做自己的力量；孤独给了我一把锐利的眼睛让我洞悉以往看不穿的事。当你有安身立命的本事，孤独就不成问题，因为你有人生的目标。

当然也不能完全没有朋友，那就太不食人间烟火了。和则来，不合则散，这就是窍门。

我孤独得痛快，孤独得自在。

To quote one of my all time favourite song: Ah-Lin de 孤独万岁，一个人无罪 lawls.

献给天下欣赏孤独的人。

Dedicated to my determination

2010-09-18T21:34:00.001-07:00

I dedicate this blog post to my determination because

I FINALLY UNDERSTOOD THE GOD DAMN IRRITATING LANGUAGE CONCEPT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its really not easy. So many friggin lingos. Morphemes, logographs, lexicology =(((

Who cares I understood everything! OMG. I was so worried that I could never get this right and I was on the verge on giving them up already. yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

now back to chapter 2.

FML

5 4 3 2 1

2010-09-18T10:23:00.000-07:00

Self destruct system activated.

Seriously I think I have over-mugged. I think I am the ONLY WEIRDO who managed to catch up with all the readings thrown to us like baptism water. The more I read, the more confused I am =(((( Fuck man. I dont know if I should continue being so Hardcore. Humanities is something that you can never master or to be more relevant- you can never finish reading all the information you ever need to know. THe more you read, the more you realise you dont know. Then what do you do next? You read more books. A vicious cycle of reading.

How do I know that I have over-mugged? Cause I see the same information appearing everywhere, and this is my typical brain activity : I rmb I read this from somewhere, Where did I read this from? So its like, I know I read it somewhere BUT I know where wheres it from. grrrrrr.

Some of the readings even conflict with what the lectuerer says. BEST DENKI.

Okie I shall get some well deserved slumber.

Don't say Okie. Say Double Okie!

Go Fire Enter Demon

2010-09-18T08:08:00.000-07:00

"HEI!" is the onometophic sound made by a pugilist when he is in a state of utmost concentration and exerting his kungfu, any slight distraction or disturbance can be fatal to the pugilist. Well, you can imagine smoke bellowing out of the back of this pugilist and the immense heat he is emanating. Even a puny little fly can cause the pugilist's life by distracting him. If distracted the pugilist will have the following reactions:

1. Nose Bleed - Yes the pugilist will not know that his/her nose is bleeding and he will still wipe his nose and then he discovers the blood. how typical.

2.Vomit blood - The image that comes to ones mind must be the forward spasm that all pugilist do when they are injured. just like this. *forward spasms *vomits blood. Sometimes it can be *vomits blood then *forward spasms Then *vomit blood *then Spasm even more, well the cycle goes on and on and on depending how many litres of tomato ketchup the author want the pugilist to waste

3.Face rapidly changes colour - the rate of the face changing colour is even faster than a attention seeking person changing his facebook status. When this happens, it spells trouble for the pugilist, because after wasting so much graphics on the pugilist, the director must want so action out of him/her. Hence, he will enter a stage of Go Fire Enter Demon.

Yes. We are all in our University life now. Any slight distractions may cause the top 3 scenarios, not literally.

Nose bleeding is like when we realise that we are so occupied by our other life that we do not have time and energy for our tutorial and lectures. We end up dozing off or not knowing a single lingo out of the lecturers mouth.

Vomitting blood is slightly fatal. Its when we start to Bwang our test. Its like when you enter the exam hall knowing you know nuts about the subject.

Go Fire Enter Demon is when you have totally lost your way and cannot be bothered with university life anymore. You just want to play and have fun! So what is study? What is mugging? Enjoy life man. And you feel that you cannot stop playing cause if you do King YAMA is going to have cow head horse face to arrest you down to hell the next moment. When you do feel this way please call our hotlline at : 1800 -I- DO-NOT-FEEL-LIKE-STUDYING. The line is toll free and is open for 24/7. Or you can visit our site @ www.LifeSuXafterDropout.com. Do feel free to leave us a comment telling us about your pathetic dropout life =D

Operators are university dropouts working at Tan Ah Hock Cleaning services. Satisfaction is not guaranteed. Terms and Conditions may apply.

Embrace your destiny. Before Ah Hock embraces You.

LOVE

2010-09-13T04:57:00.000-07:00

I ASK SKY, I ASK SKY. CAN OR NOT DONT DISTURB ME.

YES. Its the Oh-my-fucking-god-long drama serials showing in channel.

Seriously.

WHY THE HELL OLD PEOPLE LOVE THE SHOW?!?!?! I bet they can never ever get to know the ending, cause they are going to die EVEN before the serials end man! WTF man its seriosuly never ending. The show totally distracted me from my yoga zen session with my readings ;((((. So being bitter-filled and hatred orientated, I thought of various reasons why people PARTICULARLY OLD PEOPLE LOVE THE SHOW:

1. Humans 就是犯贱。Life is already bitter and hard with all the sufferings awaiting us like tutorials, endless readings, and horrible tasting food. They just have to watch such.... such..... pffft I can find a word for it. Maybe its a mentality whereby they can reminisce on their past where they backstab (like he xiaoli), commit adultery (like xie minmin) and think how they once lived their goddamn pathetic life. I call it the drama from hell, cause you will be wanting to know the ending even in hell cause you died even before the drama ends.

2. This is the opposite of the first reason. Its because humans love to see humans suffer. Sad, but true. When they see people get into a sticky situation, they will start to comment "why dont they do this. AIYA this MOTHER SO STUPID GO COMMIT SUICIDE (good riddance man)!" without being in the actual situation. They feel safe and .... accomplished?(maybe)

3. They had nothing better to do. Since the old people had totally nothing to do, they just switched on the TV and watch every single show, so the drama was just a subset of everything they watch.

4. They got distracted. JUST LIKE ME. CAUSE THEY HAD TO TURN THE VOLUME FRIGGING LOUD FOR THE FAMILY OF HEARING-IMPAIRED OLD PEOPLE TO BE ABLE TO HEAR THEM. BOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But on hindsight, I do respect the show for being able to loop the ju qing over and over again. I wonder how many scriptwriters died in the process of writing this script and how long they took to film the whole thing. Maybe this was filmed just after WW2, at 1949? i suppose lol. WAAAAAA /respect man

I teared everytime the show is airing, cause its sooo annoying :(((

RAH RAH RAH AH AH AH, RAMA RA MAMAAA want your sanity

2010-09-12T08:11:00.000-07:00

WHY THE TITLE YOU MAY ASK? :))

I can already predict how crazy I am going to get during my university life. It's only been 2 weeks and the load is like a blardy huge JUGGERNAUT is ramming my way and I cannot flee :((( Let's pray that its because I have decimated my brain during the ARMY DAZE and I need time to 招魂 and bring it back. *chants 喃麽啊哈弥陀 incessantly*

Well being a good student, I am back to blogging cause mrs teng says that WRITERS ARE MADE, NOT BORN; Yea! so here I am working towards being a brilliant sparkling eye dazzling star of the writers word. ( My goal will be to own JK Rowling in her total income of the sales of the Harry Potter books)

CHINESEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. I think when we reach university, we go back to the basics. We start to learn why 1 + 1 =2 and not = to H (spasms at this cold joke); we start to learn the basic building blocks of humans: genes; we start to learn the fundamental units of most matter; AND WE LEARN WHY THE FUCK IS FUCK A BAD WORD? Is it because FUCK looks rude? NO. Is it because FUCK is an acronym for something vulgar? certainly not. THEN WHY THE FUCK IS FUCK A FUCKING BAD WORD :(((((((((

*a voice resonates in the background

Mysterious voice: Its because of social conventions, you silly!
Me: *look around* but... but... why cant flowers replace the word fuck? it sounds so much nicer right?
Mysterious voice: *ponders* Cause its meant to be rude! And also, to show different emotions, certain rules and musical notes must be abided to.
Me: yipeee. Then i shall teach my future children to have perfect pitch and perfect hearing so that they can score well in language!

Maybe next time, there will be a major called: language and music notes instead of language and linguistics.

From the language readings:
Concept of small in sound symbolism: high tone, vowels with high F, consonants with high acoustic frequency
Concept of large in sound symbolism: Low tone, vowel with low F, consonants with low acoustic frequency

You must hit a high F in D major scale in order to pronouce 轻, or else you are not doing justice to the meaning of the word, cause it means small in weight aka LIGHTNESS.

Oh my tiong, seriously I hate subjects that drill the bull corner sharp sharp. Its like soooo lame can. grrrrrr. Leave all these to those freaks and scary people who want to specialise lehhhhhh.

OKIE I am Off (high C note in G major, to express the lightness of my departure) oh god, I am learning fast aint I :))) Okie, OFF to my MUSIC... erm I mean Language readings.

*LALALALALALlalalala..... fades to the background......

FINALLY

2010-09-09T05:10:00.000-07:00

FINALLY after so many light years, I am hooked back online with a decent device. Using my android phone to surf the net and revise the lecture notes is horribly disgusting ( especially when the chinese words are already so small).

Hahah school has been fun if you minus the tiongs and the heavily accent msians. They are srsly Ji Gou Li Yi Xia, they love to give their WRONG/IRRELAVANT comments and disrupt the class, well i suppose its not all that useless since everytime they talk, they will provide some minor entertainment with their accent.

My literature teacher is a KOREAN. ZOMG. And she cant intonate some of the words properly :((((( super sad face. But she is so nice and bimbotic. She keep making a fool out of herself during lectures. Luckily she is not teaching language and linguistics, I cant believe the devastation to the division of chinese if she does that.

Mrs Iris Teng from craft of writing is eccentric, sassy and humorous. She never fails to entertain the class with her random snide laughters after a stupid question was thrown at her; Shes really passionate in writing thought, I think everyone can see that from her face, she virtually lit up like a bulb when she talks about writing. HAHAHAHA and her driving incident is damn frigging farnie.

Mrs teng: Who the hell dont switch on the headlights when driving in the night?
*Horns at the driver and drive pass
Mrs teng: (got out of her car) Oops I didnt switch on my headlights too.

/hugs mrs teng
shes so cute isnt she?

Relationships

2010-09-03T21:51:00.000-07:00

Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Humans just like to make things difficult for themselves. Having disputes are just part of the process of knowing.

Relationships, I would say are affairs you play with your heart and why is it always so friggggging bothersome? Cause some people dont even know what they want. To illustrate it more aptly, its like TAIWAN boy groups, they break up and they reform as and when they are song, they may not have dynamics nor marketing values but they just get together for the fame and glory. Same for human relationships.

Have you identified the reasons behind each relationships, or they are just purely for gratification of your mind and soul cause they seem to share common interest.

Some people yearn for a relationship that is loud like the vuvuzela. Some just crave for the silent telepathic moments that they share.

So whats yours?

National Tiong University

2010-09-03T04:42:00.000-07:00

Soon I will revive from blog from the ashes and rant once again...........................................

不满

2010-05-10T01:27:00.000-07:00

把水倒进杯子里，总觉得不满
就这样
一直倒啊倒
根本没发现杯子底有一个大洞

A silkworm emerging from a butterfly's cacoon

牵手

2010-05-02T08:29:00.000-07:00

天使牵着我们的手，带我们来到这世界

小时候，妈妈牵着我们的手，待我们成长

长大了，我们牵着儿子的手，待他成长
长大了，我们牵着妈妈的手，陪她度过晚年

人老了，谁会先牵我的手？

Emotions

2010-04-07T23:02:00.000-07:00

Everytime without fail, after I completed a drama serial, emotions will throng to me just like how aunties flock towards cheapies. So I am kinda emo-fartsy now...

I can get why people tend to be emotional at the slightest things, cause the little thing may seem insignificant to you but a sticky pleasant/unpleasant memory to others. The only difference is how we deal with it, the subtle ones will stomach them silently and try to do things to lessen the emotional onslaught; the non subtle ones are the ones that GO EVERYWHERE, TELLING EVERYONE in a I-THINK-ITS-SUBTLE-BUT-ITS-NOT way. The latter is the one that I cannot stand. PERIOD.

I guess that there are many things in life to get emotional about, but if you choose to express it in a LOUD manner, then I would say I pity your friends around you, cause you are a VAMP screaming and yearning for energy as substitution for blood. People around you get tired from all the help and support they can give you, but you are a bottomless abyssimal pit that no one can ever satisfy, not even if you siphoned the lifeforce out of everyone. so GET REAL MAN!

well in response to this blog entry, I am going to make a video called.... *Drum rolls* NEEDY PEOPLE. Will link the site here after I have finished filming it :)
This is going to be soooo fun-ny.

Shrouded (again)

2010-04-04T11:20:00.000-07:00

I've been quite busy with my life after I am released from the Army. Making videos, reading books, teaching tuition, reconnecting with long lost friends, and playing games once in a while can be soo freaking fulfilling ( I totally lost my guilty feeling of WoW-ing my life away now)

I try to do the things I've always wanted during this break, and meanwhile using this morbidly-sinfully freedom to improve myself.

Filming myself and editing the films were really fun; acting as distinctly different character in a day can really leave me schizo. Initially I thought this should be a walk in the park for me as I have always been the crazy sort with horrific amount of split personalities, but crystallizing those characters and ensure that they ooze out life in front of the camera, isnt as easy as I thought. I had fun jumping into each character but something within me is still resisting and discourging me from time to time. I think I really need to throw away those perfectionistic thoughts and just be myself.

Its really hard to come up with a funny skit/parody. Nevertheless, its my interest. Looking at the results can be very rewarding.

Commercials

2010-03-26T04:15:00.000-07:00

Recently, I made a video about commercial. Still remember those cheesy lines that commercials used to have? And also the typipcal format that they must follow, its always amusing to look back at them. Therefore, I was bored and free enough to come up with one stereotypical commercial that I could recall from the back of my mind.

http://www.youtube.com/user/tidenarok

I really had fun playing with my vid editing software and making vids out of it. But at the end of the day, I think I am turning schizo due to the multiple split personalities I have to come up with.

revamp

2010-03-23T03:48:00.000-07:00

yes. I am going to revamp my blog, not interface wise but maybe content wise

Charisma

2010-03-10T10:23:00.000-08:00

Charisma is something that cannot be physcially detected but only mentally or emotionally felt.

You can say its like a perfume that emanates throughout the whole space with your presence; you can also say its like a amplifier boosting your gusto and whatever you speak. No matter what words, actions, a charismatic person says or does, you will just find him/her highly persuasive or likeable.

Sadly, it can't be taught.

It must be some dormant seed implanted within you since you are young and as you grow and nurture yourself as a youthful, positive individual, it will start to sprout and begin its magical process - influence others, it may not be a conscious process but it will definitely be happening.

Why do I say Charisma can't be taught? Because when you try to work on it, it will always backfire, names like needy, lame, loud may be fired back in the process.

Requirements to be Charismatic:
1. You need to be a positive, upright individual (somehow)
Well I said this because I believe that when you are negative, conniving individual you will only attract those that are similar; however if you are positive and upright you will be like a sun radiating your brilliance to everyone affecting and engulfing them in your positivity.

2. You need to be a confident person.
You can be positive and upright but if you are not confident of yourself, then you are just like a unpolished gem waiting to be unravelled by some bystanders. Note what is the word I use, bystanders: which means you cannot control the crowd you wish to influence. Never let other's opinions crush your ego, and I am certainly not talking about being egoistic.

3. If not now doesnt mean never.
You may be THE person, but its just not fully developed or the company you are with are just wrong and twisted people. Wait for you day to shine :D

You must be wondering why do spend my time writing this whole essay about Charisma.
I have no frigging idea. haha.

Alice: Dad, am I going crazy?
Dad: you certainly are, in fact I think you are completely insane
Alice: *pouts
Dad: ... (continues) all mad people are meet are great people.

Sometimes I do think that I am mad :)

糖

2010-03-08T03:13:00.000-08:00

小时候，妈妈手里捏出一小块的糖给我吃，我已乐得手舞足蹈一整天。

年少时，嘴里含着一颗糖，我可以高兴一整天。

长大时，嘴里要不停的有糖吃。

长更大时，糖已经没有任何意义。

Tree

2010-02-24T08:47:00.000-08:00

I feel that I really need to be more firm with my values and thinkings, many a times they will still waver and cause me to commit the same old bad habit again. I cannot change what others are saying but I can be firm as a tree about what I think so that I will not go back to my old ways again.

New Year resolution

2010-02-22T11:07:00.001-08:00

Okie so before I turn in, I decided to come up with some concrete new year resolutions. Oh and on a seperate note, Army is seriously knnbccbpcb&(*&#$(^Q$ f-ed up. Even the survey for my ORD must suck the soul out of you before they let you go.

Okie new year resolutions :)

1. Work hard, play hard. Bitch hard :D

2. Adpot as much nice habits from Lun Yu as possible

3. Be assertive Learn to say no to horrendously needy people

4. No (okie maybe lesser) procrastination

5. Always search for opportunities to break through my old self

6. Be disciplined and actually abide to the resolutions just made

Oh the reason why I am doing my new year resolution only now is because its chinese new year and I follow by the Lunar calender. cause I am a cheena .... BOOMZ!

海派甜心

2010-02-17T08:30:00.001-08:00

哈哈，欢迎来到周古人好到噼里啪啦的华语部落格。

最近看了海派甜心，这一部戏有引我入胜。为什么我用引我入胜而不是引人入胜？因为我有一位看了这一部戏的朋友说：“很幼稚”。

他这么一句话让我反思了很多。

我觉得我是喜欢剧情的单纯。

男主角和男主角的她在一起的时候，不像普通情人一样甜甜蜜蜜。男主角的她天天都会打男主角的头，天天都会对男主角呼来喝去，在一起做的事也跟普通情人不一样。

我们现在看的连续剧每每都是错综复杂的。虽然海派甜心也有戏剧的部分，但是他所写照的都是单纯的爱。没有遮掩，没有修饰的爱。戏剧的部分就是，男主角因为对方的一次失约和种种的误会而让个性单纯的男主角从此性格有了极大的转变。但是男主角的她从来没有变过心，但男主角因为伤太深而远离了他们爱情萌芽的地方。

单纯，简单而执著的爱是我心中完美的爱情观。

其实我们想一想，爱不就是要这一样吗？

天天编撰属于自己的故事。单纯的只爱对方，简单的用自己的方式去爱，然后执著着。

海派甜心有一段非常有趣。男主角的她是一位DJ, 在情人节那一天，男主角call in 到男主角的她说马上要见他。但是男主角的她的广播时间还没有结束，这时男主角的她陷入了两难状态。但是电台的台长马上示意叫她去赴约，然后代替她的广播时间。

这一段告诉了我们，如果看见追爱者，在我们的有限范围里，能帮就帮或给予祝福。

“我喜欢你，叫我惊世骇俗丑不拉饥香菇头。
我喜欢你，一天打我八百次。
我喜欢你，念英文的声音。
我喜欢你，喝醉酒要我背你回家。
我喜欢你，跟我一样喜欢粉红顽皮豹但又知道它的好朋友是谁”

每一段恋情都代表一首歌徜徉在我的心里

Laws of Justice

2010-02-01T02:33:00.001-08:00

Some people think that they can just get away with it but I think that fundamentally, justice follows a fixed set of law:

1. You may be able to get away with the things you do now, but you cant do it forever

You can run and justice will give chase, you can conitnue running but one day, you will slow down and at that time, justice will catch up and make you pay for everything you did

2. Everyone has a gauge of Justice in their heart

This world may be seem devoid of Justice as people just could not be bothered about the things that do not directly affect them. But that little gauge in our hearts is like a alarm that will ring if you cross the moral line, and at that time you cannot hide because everybody will be there to slam you down and mock at your well-deserved retribution

Another tiring day in 1MS with all the "interesting" people in it. The characters of the people here are so distinctive; so much so that everytime they do anything, its like they are shouting in face about their character.

Of course the fucked-up ones are the only ones that I am interested to blog about.

Guy A

Horribly self-centred. Never does things against his own interest. Going all out to fight for his self-interest. Attempts to be friendly in a hypocritical and superficial way, wanting to get into everyone good books. Puppeteer. Never fails to claim effort which doesnt involve him. Shrewd. LOUD.

One word to describe people like him "SCUM" In chinese, you call him 人渣. For the benefit of those people that are bad in Chinese, let me delve deeper into the meaning.

人渣 means the worse a person can be. 渣 represents the remains of the fruits or any organic matter after they have been squashed or mashed for their juice. Simply put it is the matter left behind that cannot be consumed and IS USELESS. So人渣means you are the representation of the worst person can be in the society. To be honest I dont think he should be given the honour to be called 人渣, he should be called 残渣.

You do not feel remorse at all nor guilt, after the incident is "supposedly" over you went on to divert the attention to others. How fucking ugly can you get? You talk bad about people NOT because you think that those people are "clashing with your beliefs"; instead you do that BECAUSE of your belief to get into everybody's daddy good shoes. You feel inferior and you cannot socialise, therefore you have to resort to the underhand methods of "negative cohesion", PLEASE LA people will not think you are great or ONE of US when you do that, negative cohesion only works when the opponent is aggressive and you want to cooperate to put him down. ALL these little pettty actions will just show people how cunning you are.

AND ALSO. You people like to comment on people being MAN and sissy. Not like I am not numb against this mindless remark. IF you FUCKING cannot admit to your Mistakes like a man and Back out like a PUSSY then dont comment. OH wait, you didnt back out of the problem, you completely DENY it. SO what are you going to tell others? I am a MAN when I dont make mistakes and a PUSSY when I do. Fuck off man, seriously.

Guy A : I Didnt do it. I Swear.

You can continue to pretend, but I will not be your audience

Life after army

2010-01-30T05:08:00.000-08:00

Its really near to the day that EVERY national servicemen is wishing for : To get sacked by the SAF. Although, there will be times that SAF will call you back for reservice, but there is awhole other thing.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.... finally, I get put my brain into some use after storing it sooooo soooo damn long. Hope its still working though, cause it has no warranty. =X okie lame.
I am so excited about my university life! wooots. ENdless opportunities to frolick in fun and playful atmosphere and find back the fun loving side of me. Army is seriously sooo rigid and boring, butttttttttt luckily the people that I encounter in my Army life is as boomz as Ris Low.

I am really loooking forward to the dead-in-the-night activities and the days where we have to hug the books and pray that the information diffuse into our brain on the eve of the test. Hopefully, the people I meet are fun loving and spontatenous people, if not I am going toooo cry.

WOoooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Here I come !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! * flails hands in the air frantically while screaming hysterically*

42 more days for takeoff.

Nothing can stop me.
I think I'm ready now.

Yu Dan review one

2010-01-30T04:45:00.001-08:00

Many a times, when life is spent in a hurry, we take a hell load of things for granted. We think that we SHOULD have it, and not be thankful that we have it. Taking reference from your own personal gravity and values, one tend to amplify certain misery alot more times than it should. Thus:

Our own personal values affect how we view the world. If your values are myopic and selfish, then the world you see would be like-wise.

Time for random stories by 古人 again. Hahaha. okie here goes:

There are 2 arab traders that were the best of friends. One day they had to travel across the desert to clinch a big deal. Even the best of friends quarrel sometimes, and these 2 best friends quarrelled and fought in the desert. Trader A then wrote this on the sand of the desert : My best friend hit me today.

They continued their journey until it was late at night and they found a spot to rest. Trader A was fast asleep when trader B realised that there was a sandstorm incoming. Trader B then shouted to wake Trader A up and both of them ran for their lifes until they found a cave that could protect them from the sandstorm. In the cave, Trader A took out a knife and carve: "My Best friend save me today " on a stone.

Trader B was curious and asked Trader A, what was that all about. Trader A said that for all those wrong you have done me theiy are written in sand cause I will not brood on them as they will be covered by sand the very next moment; for every help that you offered I will always be grateful and remember as though i carved it on my heart.

In chapters of our life, there are many things that happen to us, be it happy or unhappy events but the way we deal with them can be very different. You can use your life to remember all the grievences or you can use it to be grateful to people that helped you. In conclusion, your life will be filled with what you remember be it grievences or thankfulness.

When you are full of gratitude, then every thing that happen to you will be a pleasant one; If you are full of grievences, every unpleasant thing that happen to you will feel miserable and you will miss the pleasant things that happen to you.

Self Justification

2010-01-24T08:45:00.000-08:00

Oh gawd. I really hate self-centered people. They are assertive for their own rights and irresponsible for their own duties.

Trust me, if given a scenario where they do neeed help or advise desperately to get out of trouble, I will conveniently and HAPPILY give them the taste of their own medicine, NOT because I want them to learn through the experience so that they can change; BECAUSE I LIKE IT.

The following may sound or seeem sadistic but oh well, no one is perfect I guess :)

It is EXTREMELY gratifying to see those selfish people start begging people for help and be in a disfavourable position. Out of desperation, they can do everything, they will go around being polite in attempt to get help; they can also go around snapping at anyone to help him; they can go around putting on a brave front but deep inside they are crushed by the situation. No matter which scenario it is always satisfying to see them being punished.

It is always ironic to see how our mind ticks and how "flawed" it can get. A person that is only interested about his self interest and expects everyone to help him when he is in trouble is of all the most disgusting ones.

Personally, I cannot stand such behaviours. I will do my best to ensure justice is done.

Sometimes, I will not hesitate to give those irksome dastards a little push into the abyss. There is no need to feel pity for them. If they expect help when they are in trouble, then they should know that others need that too.

Who knows maybe the little push that you give, is allll but predestined :)

To all those justice seekers out there. HEIL!

Dr Sean: One thing about me, I hate tyranny! (with gusto)